|We do chase it and when we find it, oooh, it's all good and it makes a lot of things betetr, doesn't it? The downside, sadly, is that we equate intimacy and sex; sex is a different intimacy. So when you're thinking about this any of you women who love women think about it in two pieces, if that helps; with and without clothing. With clothing, it's the little things; a smile, a glance, a brushing against each other, sharing the same space with each other and simply basking in each other's presence and when intimacy w/clothes is being given and received, it's almost like a warm hum in the background, supporting the mutual enjoyment. You don't have to do a whole lot to feel the hum ya just gotta be willing to experience it.And, of course, find someone who doesn't mind being intimate without sex being on the menu.If you do ever look up the word, first look for the adjective and not the transitive verb; there's some subtle differences in what the word conveys but, basically, it means being close a familiarity . a warmth developed through friendship. Which, as I understand it, is why women would rather be friends first, lovers second so that that intimacy that special and familiar warmth can be established.It really does surprise me how many women give up on sexual intimacy because the other more important form of intimacy is absent; they just shut it down and maybe feel this important quality is beyond their reach or, as I heard one woman say once, Not meant to be. As a man, I say to you all: Bullshit. If you want it, go get it; if it's not already there, create it; and if the other person doesn't have it in their mind to deal with it and being naked isn't going to be involved, find someone who will. You can learn the word and all that it means but what you really have to do is fine-tune the meaning in terms of what you need in this and what intimacy you must give in return because no one is just gonna drop it into your lap gratis no such thing as a free lunch. Once you've defined it for yourself, well, then comes the hard part: Finding someone who feels the same as you about clothes-on intimacy and not just paying lip service to get into that cute thong you might be wearing. Otherwise, you're just assing yourself out, shutting yourselves down when it's not even necessary.Finding it is not easy; it's not going to come up and tap you on the shoulder. If you want it, find it be the passionate huntress I know you can be unless being miserable is something you truly enjoy. I am here to tell you that if you do not do this, you are putting a terribly high price on your happiness and one you should be unwilling to pay.I know I wouldn't.